VTupchienko35

No matter how much you want to, try not to sneeze during sex. Most couples don’t like being watched.

“Tell me honestly,” the husband says to his wife after sex, “Were you pretending again this time?”
– No. This time I actually slept.

– Are you planning pregnancy?
– I don’t really plan sex anymore

If a man, in response to a woman’s proposal to have sex, says “Let’s do it tomorrow!”, then this woman is his wife.

If you undress a girl and see that her bra and panties are the same color, then you are clearly not the one who decided that you will have sex today.

There is a public lecture about sex. And then, as expected, a question from the audience: “Tell me, what muscles lift the penis?” Lecturer
– to the person asking the question:
– Excuse me, how old are you?
– 72, what?
– Then only biceps!

A sixteen-year-old daughter and mother are sitting, watching cartoons on TV. Mother raises:
– Daughter, never have sex with a man until you marry him!
– Okay, mom, I won’t do it again…

– Shall we have sex?
– Let’s.
– Damn, I don’t know what to do next, sorry.

It scared me that during sex she did not show any emotion or sound. I checked her pulse and she was dead. Thank God, I think it’s not about me.

Note to the hostess: when calming a guy down after unsuccessful sex, it is better not to use expressions such as “at worst” and “to put it mildly.”