VTupchienko35

The children and the teacher took a photo. She convinces them to buy each a photograph:
– Imagine how great it is
– when you are already adults, look at the photo and say: “But this is Mashenka, she is now an actress. And this is Petechka, he is now a doctor…” Then Vovochka’s voice is heard from the back desk: “And this is Mary Ivanovna, she died a long time ago…”

During a literature lesson, Vovochka asks the teacher: “Why didn’t Koshchei the Bessmetny have children?” Teacher to him:
– I don’t know Vovochka:
– Because he has eggs hidden far away!

During the lesson, the teacher asks the children who they want to be. Everyone is raising their hands.
– Lena, who do you want to become?
– Dear prostitute.
– Lena, shame on you… Petya, who do you want to be?
– Killer.
– Horror!!! Vovochka, who are you?
– I’m a builder!
– Well done, Vovochka! What do you want to build?
– Kremlin

Theology lesson in theological seminary:
– Children! Tell me
– small, red-haired, jumping through the trees, waving her fluffy tail, gnawing nuts? Here you are Vovochka
– answer!
– You know, Father Nikon, actually I think it’s a squirrel, but since you’re asking this, most likely it’s Jesus Christ…

Children in kindergarten decided to play car and assigned roles.
– You are the steering wheel, you are the engine, you are the body… But there weren’t enough parts for Vovochka. Crying. The leader of the kids took pity on him and said: “Okay, you’ll be an exhaust pipe.” Run behind and stink.

– Children, the topic of today’s lesson is the process of reproduction in humans… Children:
– Wow!… Hee-hee!… Ha-ha-ha!… Marya Ivanovna:
– Shame on you! Look how quietly Vovochka and Mashenka behave! Vovochka, have you gone through the “breeding process”?
– We’ve completed the process… Tomorrow we’ll go get the results…

Mom came to pick Vovochka from kindergarten. Goes up to the first floor
– a sign: “Good children, mom looks there and doesn’t find Vovochka.” A little embarrassed, he goes up to the second floor. She looks at the sign: “Bad children,” the mother, already somewhat upset, looks in, and to her surprise, she doesn’t find Vovochka… Fairly sad, she goes up to the third floor: “Well, very bad children, already resignedly looks inside… and there she didn’t find her beloved.” Nothing at all, mom goes up to the top floor and sees a sign: “Vovochka.”

Teacher: Children, tell me some poems! Masha: The priest had a dog, he loved her! Vovochka: I found this in the zoo porn section!

One day little Vovochka comes to school on September 1 and says to little Lenochka: “And I know what needs to be done to have children.” Lenochka answers: “And I know what needs to be done to prevent them from happening.”

At an interview at a school for especially gifted children, six-year-old Vovochka was asked to tell how a bus differs from a trolleybus. Vovochka did not hide anything from his aunt and honestly told her that the bus runs on an internal combustion engine, and the trolleybus runs on an AC electric motor. It turned out
– nothing like that! Just a trolleybus with horns, and a bus without. And there’s no point in fooling your aunt’s head!