VTupchienko35

– Why can’t children watch this series?
– Little Vovochka asks his father.
– Sit quietly! Now you will see for yourself.

– Vovochka, where did you learn to swear like that?
– This cannot be learned, it is a gift of nature.

Vovochka is walking along the corridor with a globe, his teacher meets him and asks: “Vovochka, where are you going?”
– To the toilet!
– Why do you need a globe?
– Well, you know, I’m in such a mood that I don’t want to give a shit about the whole world!

Mom
– Vovochka:
– We want to buy a dacha, so dad decided to quit drinking, I decided to quit smoking, and what will you do?
– I can quit school!

The school is preparing for the holiday. The children and the teacher are decorating their office, Vovochka comes in, looks around the classroom for a long time and thoughtfully, and suddenly says thoughtfully: “Let’s put a red ribbon in the right corner… The teacher naturally becomes horrified by such words and calls Vovochka’s dad to school.” He comes to school, the teacher tells him everything as it happened, he walks around for a long time, looks at the class and in the end, finally declares: “And it was worth calling me to school because of this
– if you don’t like the red ribbon, then throw away the blue bow!”

Vovochka received a D in mathematics. Dad asks why.
– Couldn’t find the least common multiple.
– How? They haven’t found him in thirty years?

Teacher, addressing the class: “Children, I looked through your essays on the topic “My Family.” Vovochka, why did you write: “My father is a fool, my mother is also a fool.” And I am the smartest in the family!
– So the parents themselves talk about it. Father is a fool for getting married. Mother is a fool for getting married! And I’m not going to get married yet…

During a math lesson, the teacher explains the conditions of the problem:
– The staircase of a house under construction has five flights, each of which consists of 20 steps. How many steps do you have to go up to get to the top floor?
– All!
– Vovochka answers.

Vovochka gave the cat gasoline to drink. The cat walked two steps and fell. “Well, yes,” Vovochka thought, “she’s probably run out of gas
– she needs to fill it up again.”

The family is having dinner. The father says to six-year-old Vovochka: “When I eat, I am deaf and dumb.” Vovochka, looking at him carefully: “And I’m normal.”