VTupchienko35

During classes in kindergarten, the teacher gave the task to make four vegetables. Vovochka was the last one to turn in his work. He brings a large plate of plasticine, and on it there are many small pieces of plasticine. The teacher asks: “What is this, Vovochka?” Where are your vegetables?
– I’ve already cut them into a salad!

– Vovochka, make up a sentence with the words “cat” and “look.” “When I accidentally stepped on the cat’s paw, he shouted: “You have to watch where you step!”

The kids at school had a bet about what was the fastest thing in the world. Tanechka says: “I said the quickest word, but I can’t take it back!” Vanechka says: “The fastest is light!” I just turned it on and it’s already on! Vovochka answered: “I had diarrhea here, so I didn’t have time to say a word or turn on the light…

The teacher explains division to the children. She wrote 2:2 on the board and asked: “Children, who knows what this means?” Vovochka:
– Draw!

The teacher asks the class:
– Children, which bird does not build nests? “Cuckoo,” Vovochka answers.
– Why?
– Because she is sitting on the clock.

– Children, write down the sentence: “There is a mouse scratching in the corner.”
– Marvann, who is Skr?
– TFR, Vovochka, this is the investigative committee of Russia.

Football players of the Russian national team visited an orphanage. “It’s terrible to see these faces in which not even a shadow of faith and hope is visible,” six-year-old Vovochka said after their visit.

Vovochka:
– Dad, why do you have so much free space on your head?

Vovochka:
– Mom, why does everyone call me Vova the Excavator? Mother: “Shut your mouth, idiot, you’ll scratch the furniture.”

Lenochka yells in kind obscenities: “Mom, mom, Vovochka showed me the facts!” Mom runs into the children’s room and grabs the bastard Vovochka by the ear and begins to carry him around the room.
– He yells that he didn’t show any facts. Mommy is already tired and begins to doubt, maybe he really didn’t show anything? She drops her ear and asks: “Lenka, what did he show her?” She sticks out her palm
– all 5 fingers spread out. Mom:
– That’s all? This is normal, Lena! Lena:
– Yes, okay? Is five facts normal?