VTupchienko35

Vovochka and her mother are walking around the zoo.
– Mom, buy me a monkey!
– What are we going to feed her?
– But nothing! It also says: “Feeding animals is strictly prohibited!”

A tourist group visiting the ruins of an old castle. Looking around, Vovochka quietly asks her dad: “Is this where mom learned to drive?”

The persistent teacher again asks for words with the most “o” letters. This time the cunning Petya says: “Milk tanker!” Masha, thinking:
– Breast pump! Vovochka, smiling condescendingly with a gap-toothed tooth: “Milk pump!”

Vovochka returns home joyfully: “Finally, the teacher praised me,” he says from the doorway.
– What did he say? “That I wrote the dictation as a doctor with fifty years of practice, in exactly the same handwriting.”

“Vovochka,” the teacher asks in a sarcastic tone, “could you explain to me why the essay you handed me yesterday matches word for word the essay your brother wrote last year?”
– What’s surprising here, Mary Ivanna? We do have a common sister.

The teacher is tired of endlessly reprimanding Vovochka for bad behavior. One day she told him: “I wish I could be your mother for at least three days!” I would quickly re-educate you! “Okay,” Vovochka answered, “I’ll talk to dad, maybe he’ll agree.”

Same place, but soon after the war.
– Masha, what did you do during the war? “I hid a pilot from a downed plane in my place.”
– What did you do, Vovochka?
– And I posted partisan leaflets.
– What did you do, Janis? “And I brought cartridges and water to the soldiers at the position.”
– And what did the soldiers tell you?
– Gut, Janis, gut…

Teacher:
– Vovochka, say a word starting with the letter “p.”
– Yesterday.
– Sit down, deuce.
– Why? Yesterday was Monday!

The teacher warns the students:
– You should never kiss animals. This threatens various diseases. Who can give an example? “I,” Vovochka stood up, “my aunt, I kissed my parrot all the time.”
– So?..
– The parrot has gone crazy.

During a peace lesson, the teacher asks: “Vovochka, how do you feel about the Motherland?”
– I am devoted to her.
– Well done, Vovochka, everyone should be devoted to their homeland.
– No, Mary Ivanna, I am devoted to my Motherland.