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– Dad, Vovochka dirty the bathtub with the sink!
– Let him wash his shell himself.

Biology lesson. The teacher asks the class:
– What talking birds do you know? Masha answers: “Parrot!” Vovochka shouts: “Sparrow and owl!” Teacher:
– So, Vovochka, I’m tired of your tricks! Bring a sparrow and an owl to your next lesson and make them talk! Next biology lesson. Vovovchka brought a sparrow and an owl. Vovochka:
– Sparrow, how much does a glass of vodka cost? Sparrow:
– Tweet-chirp! Vovochka:
– Owl, confirm! Owl:
– Uh-huh!

Vovochka and a friend approach a rich man on the street: “Uncle, you can smoke!”
– And the magic word.
– Do you want it in the head?!

Vovochka’s parents sat him down for homework, and they left and locked themselves in the bedroom: “Vovochka, of course, came out of his room and peeked through the crack at his parents.” A few seconds later, Vovochka was surprised: “And these people forbid me to pick my nose…!!!!

Vovochka comes running home to the kitchen. Mommy is cooking his lunch there. He cheerfully shouts to her: “Mommy, mommy… I love Ninochka from the first floor!”
– Oh, Vovochka
– don’t love Ninochka from the first floor. Her glass is already broken. He goes into the hall upset. There the grandmother is knitting in a rocking chair and watching TV.
– Grandma, and grandma… I love Ninochka from the first floor!
– Oh, what are you Vovochka, my dear grandson… Don’t love this bitch! Her glass is already broken… He goes to the bedroom almost in tears. There the father lies on the bed and reads the newspaper.
– Dad, and dad… I love Ninochka from the first floor…
– Well, love yourself to your health…
– Yeah
– but my mother and woman tell me not to love her. Like, her glass is already broken.
– Oh, Vovochka, don’t listen to them. When I married your mother, not only was her glass broken, but the frame was already wobbly.

The teacher asks Vovochka:
– Vovochka, how much is one in Kazakh?
– Byr.
– That’s right, what is two?
– Birr, Birr.
– Well, how about three?
– Birr, birr, birr.
– What about a hundred?
– Well, it’s a long story.

Physics teacher:
– Guys, when you stroke a cat against the grain in the dark during a thunderstorm, what catches your eye? Vovochka holds out her hand: “Cat!”

– Vovochka! They say that you have become a Timur member
– yesterday you took your grandmother by the arm across the road…
– Make fun of us, don’t mock us, Marivan
– but gigolos are also in demand by society!

Vovochka comes home: “I don’t know whether to believe our math teacher.” Yesterday he said that 10=6+4, and today that 10=7+3.

Vovochka asks his father:
– Dad, how do you spell “poop” or “poop”?
– According to the rules
– “you poop”. Why do you need this, son?
– Yes, I’m writing a letter to my girlfriend.
– ??? !!!
– Well, I decided to start my letter like this:
– You look beautiful!