VTupchienko35

In the spring, the Lena River flooded again. Vovochka’s parents sent her to another city. A week later, an SMS comes from relatives:
– Take Vovochka, better send a flood.

Teacher
– Vovochka:
– So that tomorrow you bring me your father! Vovochka:
– Yeah, now… I already brought one of these, but I can’t take it back a year ago.

– Vovochka, which birds are the healthiest for humans?
– Fried, Mary Ivanovna.

Teacher at a parent meeting: “In chemistry class, the whole class suffered because of Vovochka’s experiments!”
– I understand you!
– Excuse me, are you Vovochka’s dad?
– No, Vovochka’s parents were evacuated from the city, I’m their family sapper…

Vovochka stands at the blackboard in literature class and mutters under her breath. Teacher:
– Vovochka, you need to read with expression! Vovochka is shocked:
– Marya Ivanovna, what expressions, this is Pushkin!

During class, the director meets Vovochka in the corridor: “Well, why were you kicked out of class?”
– I am a class enemy.

The father asks Vovochka: “Well, son, you’re already big, have you already chosen what you want to be when you grow up?”
– Yes, dad! I want to be a pool cleaner.
– That’s all?
– No, also a gardener, plumber and pizza delivery guy. The father thought, scratched the back of his head and shouted to his wife: “Listen, mother!” Looks like he found that tape…

Grandson Vovochka asks his grandfather: “Grandfather, where is the flashlight?”
– Why do you need a lantern?
– I’m going on a date. The grandfather answers: “My grandson, I went on a date in your time without a flashlight.”
– Well, look (pointing a finger at the grandmother) what you found in the dark.

– Why are you crying, Vovochka?
– Mom told dad that he is an elephant. Dad answered mom that she was a chicken.
– So what?
– Who am I then?!

Vovochka, why didn’t you tell me that you got a bad grade?
– I’m learning to keep military secrets.