VTupchienko35

– Vovochka, where did you learn to swear like that?
– This, Mary Ivanovna, cannot be learned
– it is a natural gift.

Teacher:
– Vovochka, what will you be when you grow up?
– As an architect: I’ll build myself a house without corners…
– Why without corners?
– I’m very tired!…

There’s a math lesson going on. The teacher begins to dictate the problem: “Two files were flying, one green, the other to the north.” How old am I? Vovochka holds out her hand: “You are 26 years old!!!” Teacher:
– How did you find out?
– I’m 13 years old, and my mother calls me an idiot!

Marivanna asks the class to write a sentence with the words “just in case.” Mashenka: “I’ll take an umbrella with me outside, just in case it rains.” Sashenka: “I’ll take binoculars to the theater just in case.” Vovochka:
– Marivanna, our neighbor has such a crap!
– Vova! What does this have to do with it?!
– And write down the address just in case.

Vovochka was late for class and entered the classroom without knocking. The teacher says:
– Go out the door and enter as expected.
– I don’t know how to do it.
– Well, come in like your dad comes in. Vovochka comes out, kicks the door with all her strength and shouts: “Yeah, parasites, didn’t you wait?!”

The teacher asks Vovochka: “Why weren’t you at school yesterday?”
– My sister got married.
– Okay, just make sure this doesn’t happen again!

Vovochka, whose mother accidentally pinched his chin with a zipper while buttoning his jacket, sewed his fly tightly.

Arithmetic lesson. The teacher asks Vovochka a question: “Here, Vovochka, imagine, I give you 300 dollars.” You give 50 dollars to Mashenka, 50 to Lenochka and another 50 to Natasha. What will you have? Vovochka (with a thoughtful look):
– Orgy?

– Lately, we haven’t heard any new jokes about Vovochka at school. Finally, the boy finished his studies!
– No, it’s just that now these jokes are considered political.

– Why did you stick a photo of dad on the diary?
– Vovochka’s mother asks.
– And Marya Ivanovna told me that she would like to see that idiot who helped me do my homework.