VTupchienko35

Vovochka’s diary was included in the Guinness Book of Records. It was there that he hid it from his parents.

Vovochka approaches her mother: “Mom, give me 100 rubles for a movie!”
– No, Vovochka, go do your homework.
– Well ma-a-m! Well, yeah!
– I don’t have it, go ask dad.
– No, I already asked, he doesn’t have it either. Well, yeah!
– No, and don’t beg.
– Let me, and then I’ll tell you a secret about dad.
– Which one?
– While you were in the store, some woman came to our house, and they locked themselves in the room, and I heard what they were talking about!
– And about what?
– If you give me 100 rubles, then I’ll tell you.
– Okay, here you go. So what were they talking about? Vovochka (putting 100 rubles further into his pocket):
– The woman said, “Your Vovochka gets only bad marks and is constantly being rude to adults. Take action!”, and dad said “Yes, yes, I will definitely spank him!!!”

Mom asks Vovochka: “I’m sad, son.” Sit down and tell me some funny joke.
– I, mom, prefer to stand. I can’t sit down.
– Why?
– Yes, just now I told my dad a joke…

The math teacher fell ill. The lesson is replaced by a physical education teacher. He says: “Now, children, we will solve the problem with you.” 2 nails, 4 bolts and a bicycle wheel were placed on one scale, and 10 mosquitoes were placed on the other. The question is, how old am I? Vovochka is the first to raise his hand:
– 24 years old.
– How did you know?
– When I was 12 years old, my mother told me in the morning: “Get up, you idiot!”

Vovochka asks: “Mom, does dad have parents?”
– Of course there is. Have you forgotten? Grandmother Lyusya and grandfather Lenya.
– Why did they give it to us then?

Vovochka comes to his father’s work and suddenly hears behind the wall: “Another hundred grams?”
– Come on…
– Two hundred more?
– Let’s give it two hundred… The son asks his father in bewilderment:
– Dad, do they drink vodka there? Father, blushing:
– No, the gnomes… dumbbells… are lifting.

Vovochka and Mashenka came home: they undressed, lay down on the bed, and just started having sex when mom and her boyfriend came in. Vovochka and Masha hid under the bed. And mom and her boyfriend are on the same bed. They fuck and fuck, and suddenly mom’s boyfriend’s dick crawls between the bars of the bed. Masha:
– Vovochka! What is it? Vovochka (reaches into the deep pocket of his pants, takes out a huge nut and tightens it on the lover’s penis):
– Dad will come and sort it out!

A little girl came home from school and said to her mother: “Mommy, Vovochka kissed me on the lips at recess today, can you imagine!” Mom, slightly indignant and amazed, asks her daughter: “And how did this happen?!”
– Yes, Svetka and Lenka were holding him…

Literature lesson. Marvanna asks Vovochka: “Vladimir, have you read Mumu?”
– Well, yes… but I didn’t understand… why did Gerasim drown this cow?

The teacher calls Vovochka to the blackboard. He comes out and is silent.
– I’m listening to you!
– says the teacher.
– How is this?
– Vovochka is surprised.
– I’m not saying anything!