Adult Anecdotes

If you undress a girl and see that her bra and panties are the same color, then you are clearly not the one who decided that you will have sex today.

There is a public lecture about sex. And then, as expected, a question from the audience: “Tell me, what muscles lift the penis?” Lecturer
– to the person asking the question:
– Excuse me, how old are you?
– 72, what?
– Then only biceps!

A sixteen-year-old daughter and mother are sitting, watching cartoons on TV. Mother raises:
– Daughter, never have sex with a man until you marry him!
– Okay, mom, I won’t do it again…

– Shall we have sex?
– Let’s.
– Damn, I don’t know what to do next, sorry.

It scared me that during sex she did not show any emotion or sound. I checked her pulse and she was dead. Thank God, I think it’s not about me.

Note to the hostess: when calming a guy down after unsuccessful sex, it is better not to use expressions such as “at worst” and “to put it mildly.”

The husband comes home from work and says to his wife: “Okay, let’s quickly undress.” Quickly, quickly, and off to bed. I can’t stand it anymore.
– How to “undress”? For what? It’s been three years since you forgot to even think about it. Really…?
– Take off your clothes, I tell you. Now you will see what real sex is.
– Now, now, I’ll quickly, quickly…
– Is that it? Ready? Undressed? Ugh-ugh. Finally, we managed to pin someone on the first of April.

According to statistics, married people in our country have sex on average once a week. Moreover, many wives wait for this week for months.

After sex, your mood always improves! The conclusion is clear: good mood is transmitted sexually!