– Mom, I have a new girlfriend.
– I’m glad. What is she like?
– Beautiful and lively!
– What?! From a sex shop again?
Adult Anecdotes
Anecdotes for mature audiences
The first rule of winter sex: whoever has snot is on the bottom.
The first rule of winter sex: whoever has snot is on the bottom.
The wife sarcastically says to her husband: “It has been noticed that people wit
The wife sarcastically says to her husband: “It has been noticed that people with high incomes have sex more often!” “But people with low incomes do this more often with their wives!”
– Darling, tell me, were you pretending during sex just now? – No, I was really
– Darling, tell me, were you pretending during sex just now?
– No, I was really asleep…
– You are henpecked! — I prefer to consider myself a man capable of reasonable a
– You are henpecked!
– I prefer to consider myself a man capable of reasonable and justified compromises for the sake of sex and borscht.
“I don’t understand why his son looks like a Chinese man?” “Well, he’s absolutel
“I don’t understand why his son looks like a Chinese man?” “Well, he’s absolutely sure it’s because their Chinese condom broke during sex.”
– Hello, phone sex? – No, the tax office, but we can do it too.
– Hello, phone sex?
– No, the tax office, but we can do it too.
– Girls, have you counted how many times someone has had sex? – Why should I cou
– Girls, have you counted how many times someone has had sex?
– Why should I count? Mine have already gone to school three times.
Three guys had to spend the night in a hotel sharing a double bed. In the mornin
Three guys had to spend the night in a hotel sharing a double bed. In the morning, the guy on the right says: “I had a strange dream last night that I was a girl and having sex.” The guy on the left replied: “It’s strange for me too.” Finally, the guy in the middle says:
– “Lucky for you guys… I haven’t slept all night.”