Adult Anecdotes

Zmey Gorynych could simultaneously have sex and watch from the side how good he was.

– What don’t you like when a girl does in bed?
– He snores.
– And when having sex?
– Especially when having sex.

– Excuse me, can I meet you?
– What next? A couple of dates? Then sex? Then relationships? And then there’s the braininess? Nevermind. No need.

– Until what stage of pregnancy is it safe to have sex?
– Until the child starts biting.

There is a line at the dentist, a young woman comes into the office and says to the doctor with concern: “My tooth hurts.”
– Well, let’s go, now we’ll do an x-ray, we’ll take a look.
– Oh, you know, I probably can’t get an x-ray, I’m pregnant.
– You know, we have a new X-ray, it’s not even an X-ray at all, it’s very safe.
– Well, no. I’ve already messed up with safe sex…

The physical education teacher liked the sex with the cook so much that he asked for more.

And I still cowardly believe that a real serious relationship is an exchange of information. Starting from sex and ending with facts about National Socialism and the extinction of fur seals. And anyone can mindlessly poke their pussies and eat borscht.

A girl comes to the antenatal clinic. He walks down the corridor and looks at people in white coats. She said to them: “Please help me, I have a problem.”
– Well, tell me.
– Yes, no matter how much I have sex, I have never had an orgasm.
– Oh, this problem needs research, take off your clothes. The girl undressed and they tried her in all sorts of different poses.
– Well, how?
– It still doesn’t fit.
– We have a specialist here, Vano, he has a 33-centimeter instrument. Vano, come here! Vano came over and tried different things too.
– Well, how? “I still don’t feel anything.”
– Well then it’s not for us, it’s for the doctor.
– Who are you?
– And we are painters.

Even fairy tales prove that all men are the same… Did you notice that in “The Tale of Tsar Saltan” the king chose the girl who transparently hinted to him about sex?..