Adult Anecdotes

– Girls, do you have sex for money?
– No.
– Class! I just don’t have them!

The mother asks her daughter: “What will you do for the New Year?”
– Olivier, alcohol, sex…
– What?!
– I’m kidding, what Olivier!

If you slam bubble polyethylene during sex, you can die from an overdose of the hormone of happiness.

– Vitya! What’s wrong with your black eye this morning?
– You called your wife…
– How is that? They don’t punch you in the face for this!
– Lie. He asks: “We haven’t had sex for a long time.” And I answer: “Not WE, but YOU…”.

A guy enters a train compartment with his girlfriend. The train has started, and then it turns out that there are no other passengers in this compartment. The girl says to her friend:
– Let’s take advantage of the fact that we are alone and have sex!
– No, I want you to marry me as a virgin. The friend thinks: “And the devil pulled me to offer such a thing. He has serious intentions, what will he think of me now.” The guy thinks: “Why did I wear holey socks today?”

A wolf walks through the forest. A hare meets him. The hare has a new transistor under his arm. Wolf: “Where did you get that one?”
– So I fucked the fox, she gave it to me… The wolf
– to the fox. In the morning he crawls away from her, barely alive, and says: “Fox, drive the transistor!”
– What other transistor?
– So you gave the hare a transistor for sex!
– Well, Serenky, well, he was the millionth visitor!

– Did you have sex with an intelligent girl?
– This is the one who takes a dick into her mouth with a fork?

– What is the most important thing in biathlon? Shoot straight or run fast?
– Biathlon is like sex
– if you don’t hit it, then speed won’t help…

The first snow on the roads is like the first sex: everyone wants something, is poking somewhere, some succeed, and half don’t even have tires.