Adult Anecdotes

– Hello, phone sex welcomes you!
– Phone sex? But there was technical support here!
– Yes, technical support remains. You and I just got bored…

There is no such thing as safe sex by definition. Even a rubber woman can burst at the most inopportune moment and leave you with a stutter for life.

A young family lives in a one-room apartment. Before having sex, the husband decided to check if his son was sleeping:
– Son, bring some water… Silence… The wife says:
– He fell asleep. …after great sex, the couple lies and talks. Suddenly a voice from the darkness: -…how long will I stand here with water?

– Hello, my name is Mila, I want to make you an offer!
– Girl, I’m married…
– You thought wrong!
– Just sex? Agree!
– I’m talking about insurance!
– I have a condom!

A new item in the sex shop is an inflatable Voodoo doll. Now you can not only prick the enemy.

– What do biathlon and sex have in common?
– If you don’t hit, then speed is no longer important.

Of course, even before sex I knew that she was a girl with humor… But in the midst of it, saying: “Kolyan, what kind of ballet? Play harder!”
– that’s too much.

We have a young teacher, so his wife kicked him out of the house. He should have thought of it, after sex with her he should have blurted out: “Let’s do the record book”…

The blonde returns from a date, all in tears. Mom asks: “Daughter, what happened?” “He left me, he says that I don’t know how to do what he wants me to do.” To this, my mother carefully started talking about sex: about birds, rabbits… The blonde interrupted her mother: “But mom, I can do all this, he wants me to learn how to cook!”