Adult Anecdotes

A math teacher who accidentally walked into a sex shop saw for the first time what a polynomial actually looks like.

One friend says to another: “During sex, my husband roars like a lion.” I feel so uncomfortable in front of my neighbors.
– And you should have asked him to restrain himself, after all, he’s an adult!
– I asked you a thousand times! And as soon as he catches me with some guy, he roars like a lion again.

A neighbor called the guy: “Hello, do you want to take part in group sex?”
– Who else will be there?
– Me and you and your wife.
– No, of course, I won’t do that.
– Okay, then go out and walk for a couple of hours.

If a guy is in a bad mood, what does he do? That’s right, he’s going for some booze. There is also sex, of course, but that’s for the successful.

– Do you and your husband have sex?
– Regularly!
– Very good! How often?
– Continuously!
– This is what I understand
– well done!!! And in what form?
– Into the brain… starting in the early morning!

If a woman does not want to have sex, then she has a headache. If a man doesn’t want to have sex, then he’s a soulless bastard

“But there is something in me,” Sveta thought during sex with Sergei.

– Doctor, my daughter is already 15 years old. Is it possible to talk to her about sex?
– Of course, of course. You will learn a lot of new and interesting things!

An elderly couple, husband and wife, sit in the morning and drink tea. The husband turns to his wife:
– Honey, give me sugar. The wife reaches across the table and punches her husband in the face. He is shocked:
– For what, my love?
– This is for 45 years of unsuccessful sex! Breakfast continues. After some time, the husband gets up and when he hits his wife in the face, she falls out of her chair.
– What is this for???
– asks the wife.
– How do you, bitch, know the difference between successful and unsuccessful sex?