Adult Anecdotes

– I asked the guy to tell me all sorts of rude things during sex… Result: I cried and ruined sex for both of them
– What did he tell you?
– You’re fat! Borscht is shit! I’m with you out of pity!

I want sex so much that I’m ready to write to the newspaper in the section, not just “dating”, but in the “I’ll give it for free” section

I looked through profiles on a dating site. I found some Larisa, 34 years old, who prefers “sex for money.” I looked at the photo. It became obvious that she would pay.

The best way to lose weight is sex. It is almost impossible to convince women of this, which is why almost all of them are so fat.

The dude comes to church for confession.
– Holy Father, I had sex with my fiancée 15 times a day before the wedding. Is it a sin?
– Yes, my son, lying is a great sin.

“First the wedding, then sex!”
– the witness whispered to the witness in the registry office.

Friends are talking. “I feel so sorry for my cat-he yells and wants sex.” Imagine if you didn’t have sex…
– Horror. No sex, and instead of hands there are paws with claws…

– My wife smears herself with so much oil to tan that every time all my attempts to have sex with her end in one thing: I jump off.

A good woman’s man is fed, watered, given sex and sleeps. And the woman herself is on the Internet!