Adult Anecdotes

– Why do all your jokes come down to sex?
– The jokes are made, but the legs are separated AHAHAHA

Kostya smoked only after sex, so he had healthy lungs and a sad expression on his face.

Two men are talking: “Yesterday I bought a vibrator for my wife in a sex shop with a guarantee.”
– How is this?
– Well, the master said that if it breaks, I won’t have to do anything
– he’ll come and do everything himself.

The louder a girl laughs at a man’s jokes, the longer she has not had sex.

A girl with a big hangover complains to her friend: “The head after yesterday feels the same as the butt after long anal sex: it’s pleasant to remember, but to use it for its intended purpose is painful!”

– Will you treat the lady to a glass of white wine?
– Oh, no, I’ve been cleaning the house for a long time.
– What does this have to do with…
– If it doesn’t, then there’s no point in offering a treat.

At the disco.
– Girl, come to me!
– Why?
– Well… let’s drink coffee… watch a movie…
– Nope, a guy here offered me sex, I’d better go to him.

Two big misconceptions of humanity: 1. Sex, like in porn. 2. Love, like in the movies.

Sex with your ex is as good as your favorite shoes: they fit perfectly and you feel good in them, but you still need to break in new ones.