Adult Anecdotes

The girls are so cute, you ask what they are thinking about, but the answer is “nothing”, but in my head “I want sex, I haven’t eaten for a long time, die, you idiot”

Conversation between a programmer and his wife:
– Have you heard that in 10-15 years it will be possible to have sex with a computer?
– What do you care? Nothing will change for you…

– Dim, what were you doing before the baby was born?
– Sex.

Statistics: men have sex 1.5 times more often than women. Question: With whom?

An eighty-year-old man at a doctor’s appointment.
– Doctor, after sex I have some kind of buzzing in my ears, what is it?
– Applause.

Still, it was a bad idea to joke during sex, “They said syphilis doesn’t feel the same.”

A man comes to a brothel, picks up a girl and has sex with her. Then, out of nowhere, the cops burst in with a raid. They lined everyone up in the corridor and began asking questions: “Who are you?” Prostitute?
– No, what are you talking about! I’m a massage therapist!
– And you?
– And I’m doing a pedicure! The man can’t stand it and says: “No, just look at them!” Now it turns out that the prostitute here is me!!!

A guy and a girl are drinking wine. The guy pours it, and the girl tells him: “I don’t need any more, otherwise there’s something strange with my legs…” “What, are they giving way?”
– No, they are moving apart…

Student Sidorov had sex so intensely that he dislocated his hand.