Adult Anecdotes

– We recently conducted a test
– we asked representatives of different countries how often they have sex.
– And what are the results?
– The Russians said they do this 20 times a week, the Italians said 15, the French 10, the Germans only once.
– So, it turns out that Russians are the sexiest?
– No, it turns out that the Germans are the most honest. This was a test of truthfulness.

If a woman asks a man for something, then he always secretly expects sex.

Girls believe in princes
– like in a fairy tale, and guys believe in sex
– like in porn.

– You bastard, he called me Katya during sex! You have completely lost your conscience!
– Lena, I didn’t lose my conscience, but my glasses!

A woman talks to a man: “Here, you guys, just give me sex and sex, but we women want attention!” The man thought and thought and said: “Attention! Now there will be SEX!”

Girl, what sex position do you prefer?
– Above.
– Why?
– I got tired of it
– I got up and left!

– Sorry, but I won’t have sex before the wedding. “I’m sorry too, but I won’t arrange a wedding for the sake of sex.”

Phone sex:
– Guy, are you sure you are over 18?
– Yes, aunt.

An old grandfather comes to the doctor: “Doctor, I have a problem with my grandmother, she’s been lying on the bed for a month, she doesn’t get up, she either moans or growls.” Doesn’t eat, doesn’t drink, is dying. What should I do?
– Well, grandfather, the case is difficult. But treatment must begin with sex.
– Doctor, my dear, why am I an old party member, Lenin died in my arms, I can’t.
– Grandfather, there is no other way. Grandfather came home, smoked, groaned, took a drop of Viagra, washed it down with a hundred, and climbed on his grandmother. Once again, tired and fell asleep. She wakes up, grandma is busy in the kitchen, humming songs, putting on lipstick, lining her eyes, and already dancing. Grandfather sat down and lit a cigarette, lowering his head low.
– Grandfather, what are you doing?
– Well, I could have saved Lenin in 1924…