Kids Anecdotes

My 11-year-old son today, after thinking a little, said: “I know why Children’s Day is June 1
– because on May 31, all schoolchildren bring home diaries with annual grades…

Fifth-grader Valera had to interrupt his schooling because it was his turn to go to kindergarten.

Marya Ivanovna:
– Children, write down the topic of the lesson: Leo Tolstoy, “War and Peace.” Vovochka:
– Well, it’s a damn thing! You told my dad this story 30 years ago!

A young teacher complains to her friend: “One of my students completely tormented me: he makes noise, hooligans, disrupts lessons!”
– But does he have at least one positive quality?
– Unfortunately, there is: he doesn’t miss classes.

Children are wonderful: no matter where you sit, there’s a cube in your ass.

Mother and daughter play doctor. The daughter, a patient, lies down on the sofa. Mom is a doctor, I take the tools from the doctor’s kit and sit down on the sofa: “So, what are we complaining about?”
– To my grandmother.

A very young boy and girl are looking at Brehm’s book “The Life of Animals”. And suddenly they start arguing.
– Maybe!
– It can’t!
– Maybe!
– It can’t. Let’s go ask grandma. They come running to the kitchen.
– Grandma, can you have children?
– Well, my dears, of course not.
– I told you that she is a male.

During the lesson, the teacher asks: “Children, what excites a person most?”
– The body of a naked woman!
– answers the excellent student sitting at the first desk.
– Get out of class! And bring your father tomorrow! The next day, the excellent student came alone and sat at the last desk.
– Why didn’t you bring your father? Why did you sit at the last desk?
– asks the teacher.
– My father said that if you are not turned on by a naked woman, then you are sick, and you should stay away from you!

The girl asks her mother: “Mom, where do you put the tampon?”
– Well, how can I tell you… Well…, to where children come from.
– What about a stork?