Kids Anecdotes

Two friends met. One tells the other: “We recently bought an elephant.” Now life is just a miracle: he is so cute, he rides the children on his back, waters the flower beds with his trunk, helps with the housework, his wife likes it, the children are delighted! “Sell,” the second one lit up.
– No, I can’t. He is already like a member of the family. “Well, please,” the second one persuades.
– Well, take it! A week later we met again.
– Well, how?
– asked the first one. “Everything is bad: he eats a lot, shits even more, he trampled all the flower beds, the children are scared, the wife is crying…” “Yes,” concluded the first, “with such a mood you won’t sell the elephant.”

Teacher in class:
– Remember, children, that we live on earth to work. Vovochka:
– Then I will become a sailor.

While putting the children to bed, the mother barked at them so much that even the neighbors on the floor above made their bed and lay down.

– Mr. Shoigu, why are there no children of government members and State Duma deputies on the mobilization lists? -Have you not read the decree? Mobilization concerns only citizens of the Russian Federation.

– My husband, like me now, has the surname King. We are thinking about the child, if it is a girl, then we have our eye on the excellent old name Ada. “I can see a teacher at school: “Children, meet the new girl, this is the King of Hell!”

If your house becomes quiet, it means your child has already licked his shoes, strangled the cat, painted the wallpaper and is now drinking from the toilet.

Children play in the camp. The counselor asks a question: “What is the most unexpected place for a girl to get a piercing?”
– Neck!
– Coccyx!
– Heel! Vovochka says quietly, philosophically: “The most unexpected place for a girl to have a piercing is her dick!”

Conversation between two programmers:
– One of my friends has four children. Each next one is lighter than the previous one.
– Let him check the cartridge.

Oksana was teased a lot by the children for having the smallest breasts in the class, but she continued to teach the geography lesson.