Kids Anecdotes

Kindergarten “Trudovik”. If you want to sleep, build a bed.

Biology lesson. The theme is sea fish.
– Children, who knows why flounder is so flat? Vovochka:
– Because the whale raped her!
– Get out of class!!!.. Children, why do sea bass have such big eyes? Vovochka (at the door)
– And he saw it all!

Vladimir Putin loves children very much. Especially the children of Yuri Chaika and Arkady Rotenberg.

Test. The teacher closely monitors the students and from time to time expels those who notice spurs. The head teacher looks into the class:
– Are we writing a test? There are probably a lot of pee lovers here! The teacher answers: “No, the amateurs are already outside the door.” Only professionals remain here.

My wife says I love one of our children more than the other. This is not true, I love Andrey and the other one equally.

A little girl comes home from school and says: “Mom, can you imagine, Valerka kissed me right on the lips during recess!” Mom, half indignant, half amazed, asks: “And how did this happen?!”
– Lenka and Svetka were holding him!

A family comes to a restaurant. After eating, the father pays, and the mother says to the waiter: “Do you mind if we collect the leftovers from the table and take them home to the dog?” Waiter:
– Yes, of course, please! Children, joyfully, in chorus:
– Hurray! They’ll buy us a dog!

Teacher:
– Children, I checked your essays yesterday. Everything is fine, but for some reason Vovochka wrote “the birds are flying south.” Vovochka, why the hive?
– Well, how? Everyone cursed, so here are the stewards.

The husband decided to leave the woman. Ugly, they say. Then she told him: “Let’s do it this way.” You will follow me around the city and if at least one guy doesn’t look at me, you can leave me. The husband thought about it and agreed. He was very surprised when he saw that ALL the men he met turned around after his unsightly wife. Even the cars slowed down. As a result, the family survived and two children grew up. At the age of 60, my wife admitted: “Darling, I stuck my tongue out at all the men then…