Kids Anecdotes

Literature lesson. Teacher:
– Well, children, we read Chekhov’s story “Vanka”. You understand that now, of course, children don’t write such letters. Vovochka stands up: “It’s not true, yesterday I myself saw Izya Shikhman write in class: “Dear grandfather, Solomon Moiseevich, take me away from here…”

The child is five years old. I ask: “What is the difference between Father Frost and Santa Claus?” Answers:
– Father Frost lives with the Snow Maiden, and Santa Claus lives with a deer!

The cat is lying in the yard. The hostess walks by and says: “I ate, walked, slept, I wish I had such a life!” The cat thinks:
– She drowned my children, sterilized my wife, castrated me… You should have such a life…

Teacher:
– Now, if I give you a rabbit, then two more rabbits, and then three more rabbits! How much will it be? Student:
– Seven! Teacher:
– Listen carefully! First one rabbit, then two more and then three more. How many? Student:
– Seven! Teacher:
– Soooo! Let’s do it differently! One apple plus two apples, plus three more apples! How much is it? Student:
– Six! Teacher:
– Well, finally! And a rabbit plus two rabbits plus three rabbits! How many? Student:
– Seven! Teacher:
– Well, why?!! Student:
– And I already have one rabbit!

At a zoology lesson. The teacher shows the snake to the children: “Well, children, who can tell me what kind of animal this is?”
– Hedgehog !
– No, Mashenka!
– Hamster!
– Wrong, Petya! Well, Vovochka, what do you think? Vovochka, stroking the snake: “This is what the school brought Snake Gorynych to.”

At school. Teacher:
– Okay, children, today we have a test. Student:
– Can I use a calculator?
– Yes. Another student:
– What about Bradis tables?
– Can. So, children, write down the topic of the test: “Abolition of serfdom”

Cheburashka and Gena are robbing Detsky Mir. Cheburashka looks at things.
– Crocodile, should I take my coat?
– Yes!
– Should I take my hat?
– Yes!
– Should I take the shoes?
– Yes!
– And they contain garbage.
– Clean it!
– I can’t, he caught me by the ear!

In elementary grades, parents ask their children:
– What grade did you get? In the middle ones:
– Did you ask a lot? And in the older ones:
– Have you been to school?

Crocodile Gena and Cheburashka wanted to steal a string bag from the window. Cheburashka climbed up, and the crocodile was waiting below. A policeman approaches: “What are you doing here?”
– We are hanging gifts for the New Year!
– Did you survive, crocodile?
– Sorry? Hm. OK. Hey Cheburashka! Take off the gifts!