Kids Anecdotes

The children went to the museum. Well, the teacher asks them: “Vasenka, what did you like about the statue of Venus?”
– Butt!
– Vasya!!!! Get out of class!!!!!!
– Petenka, what did you like about the statue of Venus?
– Tits!
– Petya!!!!! Get out of class!!!!!!
– Vovochka, what did you like about the statue of Venus?
– I’m leaving-I’m leaving-I’m leaving!!!!!

– Jean, be honest, who did your homework for you?
– Honestly, I don’t know, monsieur, I went to bed early…

A five-year-old boy calls on the phone: “Is this an ambulance?”
– Yes, little one, what happened?
– Aunt ! Come to our kindergarten soon! To the Christmas tree! It’s so hot here! Soon the Snow Maiden will begin to melt!

– Mommy, when I grow up, will I look after you?
– Of course, daughter, you will definitely…
– Damn, why bother calling?!

Two boys are looking at an arch-abstract painting. “Let’s get away from here,” one whispers to the other, “otherwise they’ll think that we painted it.”

– Children, draw a square with a side of ten centimeters!
– Maryivanna, what kind of square is this
– with one side?!

Metro . A little boy stands by the escalator and tensely watches the rubber handrail.
– Did something happen?
– asks the attendant.
– No. I’m just waiting for my gum to show up.

Match between Russia and Germany. The score is 2:0 in favor of the Germans.
– Guys!
– A tipsy grandfather-veteran shouts from the podium. We killed them at Stalingrad, Kiev, Kursk, and you, sons of bitches, disgrace us! A Georgian sitting next to him remarks: “Then you, grandfather, had a different coach.”

– How to get rid of the denominator of this fraction?
– You need to wipe it off with a rag!