Kids Anecdotes

A little boy returns from school and says to his father: “Dad, today I wrote about you in my essay.”
– Seriously? What was the topic?
– Topic: “My ideal, role model.”
– Well, I’m flattered, and what did you write there?
– Well, that you are strong, handsome, smart, polite. The touched father says: “Honestly, I didn’t know that I meant so much to you…” “No, I just don’t know how to spell it
– Arnold Schwarzenegger, Schwarzenegger, Schwartsnegger…”

The son was treated to an apple. He silently takes it and looks at me. Me:
– What should I say? -Did you wash it?

“Well done, Mitya,” the father praises his son.
– How did you manage to get an A in zoology?
– And they asked me how many legs an ostrich has. I replied that it was three.
– Wait, but an ostrich has two legs!
– That’s it! But everyone else said four!

– Why did you only read half of the book?
– the librarian asks the boy.
– How did you find out?
– The second half of the book is clean!

The chicken hits its head against the wall and shouts: “Shame!” What a shame! Chicken is coming.
– Mom, is it true that my father is a rooster?
– Yes, son.
– Shame! God, what a shame!

– Baby, what’s your name?
– Misha. -What do you want to become when you grow up?
– A pilot.
– Why do you want to be a pilot?
– Misha.
– Baby, are you deaf?
– A pilot.

Unfortunately, in Russia the exploitation of children’s hands when catching pickles from a jar is still widespread.

Dad is perplexed: “And how could your violin break?” “Very simple,” the child answers.
– I was learning the verse, learning it… And suddenly!
– the violin fell out of the window.

A Russian language teacher, checking children’s essays on the topic “How I spent my summer,” gave not “3”, “4” and “5”, but 18+, 16+…