Kids Anecdotes

If you have returned from a business trip, and the apartment is clean, the children are doing their homework, the wife is cooking, the mother-in-law is knitting, and the dog is sleeping peacefully in its place
– they have broken your computer!

Children are our everything, our stroke, our heart attack.

The teacher asks: “Children, who knows what vegetable makes your eyes water?” Vovochka holds out her hand.
– Come on, Vovochka, answer.
– From potatoes!
– Well, think about it, how can it be that potatoes make your eyes water? Maybe you meant to say from the onion?
– Mary Ivanna, have you ever been hit in the balls with a potato?

– So, children who will study for fours and fives will go to heaven, and those who have only ones, twos and threes will definitely go to HELL!
– Excuse me, but is there no way to finish school alive?

I read a fairy tale to my daughter: “My father had three sons: the eldest was a smart kid, the middle son was this and that, the youngest was a complete fool…”
– Mom, was their father sick or something?
– Where did you get the idea?
– What did he do worse and worse each time?

-Where did you work before?
– At school, as a Spanish teacher.
– Do you know Spanish?
– No. That’s why I decided to leave after a year.

In kindergarten, children are taught to count to six. Everyone counted to six, and Vovochka said: “Marya Ivanovna, but I can go on!”
– Well done, we are all listening to you.
– Seven, eight, nine, ten, jack, queen, king, ace.

At a parent meeting:
– Comrade Sidorov, your son writes completely moronic essays!
– Gee-gee-gee!

Odessa court:
– Tsilya Moiseevna, what do you have to say about the reasons for the divorce? Does your husband earn little? Can’t help around the house? Maybe he doesn’t work with children? Or, I’m embarrassed to ask, does it not satisfy you as a woman?
– Oh, sho V, Your Honor! Izya does all this! But V.B. saw what a face he had!