Kids Anecdotes

At the cinema:
– Boy, this is the fifth time you’ve bought a ticket from me! “It’s not my fault that some woman at the entrance tears them up all the time!”

There are jokes that are equally loved by both adults and children. True, adults believe that they cannot be told in front of children, and children believe that they cannot be told in front of adults.

An ant and an elephant sneak towards their enemies. Ant:
– Elephant! Hide! I’ve already been spotted!

The teacher asks the student:
– What is the passive participle?
– This… which suffers…
– So, I am a sacrament?
– Why?
– Because I suffer from such students!

A Georgian, a Jew, a Chukchi and a Russian are flying on the plane. Suddenly a pilot runs in and says: “The plane is falling, and there are only 4 parachutes.” He took the parachute and jumped. There are 3 left. The Georgian says: “I have 20 children, I need to jump.” 2 parachutes left. Jew:
– Well, my nation is the smartest, I also need to jump. 1 parachute left. The Russian says: “Chukchi, you jump, and I, as the bravest, will die.” The Chukchi replies: “Well, you are a fool, though.” Jump with me, I gave a backpack to a Jew, he’s smart, he’ll come up with something…

A few weeks after we met. “Darling, isn’t it time for you to introduce me to your family?”
– I don’t even know what to do. The children are now with the mother-in-law, and the wife is on vacation.

At school:
– The Civil War took place in 1812.
– Yes?! Maybe you can justify it?
– Well, Russian citizens fought with French citizens.

15% of excellent students who were admitted to Moscow State University based on the results of the Unified State Exam. Lomonosov, could not decipher the name of their university.

We are sitting at work. A co-worker’s five-year-old daughter calls and asks to call her mother to the phone. They answer her: “But mom isn’t there, she’s in the bank.” A long silence, followed by a question: “How did she get there?”