Kids Anecdotes

“Abram Izrailevich,” the OVIR inspector persuades Rabinovich, “well, where are you going?” You have such a wonderful apartment, a car…
– I don’t want to go myself. But the family insists. My wife itches every day. -Can’t you influence your wife? “So her parents have already made a hole in my head, too, along with her three brothers.” If they want to go, they squeal, especially their wives and children.
– So let them go if they want, and you stay.
– Can I? How will they leave if I am the only Jew in the whole family?

– The children played a game of “who will outdo whom.”
– The boy Andryusha outdid everyone, arriving in his brand new BMW for 130 thousand euros.

– Well, how are things with your children? “We’re very tired, we don’t get enough sleep, we have no time for ourselves at all.”
– How is Lena?
– Lena is me. Petya looks even worse.

Teacher before the test:
– Petrov! I hope I don’t see you cheating today?
– I hope too, MaryIvanna…

– Where did you learn to tap dance?
– At home . There were 15 children in our family and one potty for all of us.

The grandmother asks her grandson: “Did you throw the colander in the trash?”
– I threw it away!
– Why?
– So he’s covered in holes!

Rabinovich gives private music lessons to children, and everyone knows that his children behave surprisingly obediently and quietly. A colleague asks: “How do you do this?” “At the very first lesson, I tell the student: “I’m warning you, if you don’t listen, I’ll tell your parents that you have talent.”

Teacher:
– Well, children, what sounds did we hear on the farm today? Children:
– Muuuuuuuuu
– Quack quack quack
– Beeeeeeee
– Well, the fuck off the tractor!

During a sociology lesson, a teacher addresses a student: “There was no sex in the USSR, but there were 2-4 children in each family.” Now there is sex. But almost every family has one child. What is the conclusion?
– Well… children don’t come from sex. Still, storks…