Kids Anecdotes

On the border. A customs officer stops a little girl and asks: “What is this powder you have, girl?”
– This, uncle, is heroin!
– No, heroin is white, but yours is orange.
– And this, uncle, is children’s heroin, with orange flavor.

A unique find! The only 9th grade chemistry textbook in the world has been found, in which Mendeleev is depicted without drawn horns.

– I came to Israel for the sake of the children, and they are still happy.
– Do you live together?
– No, they stayed in Odessa.

Two adults walk past a bench where a group of teenagers are playing cards.
– Disgrace!
– one of them is indignant.
– Children play cards, and all the adults pass by. “Yeah,” says another, “yesterday I tried to stop, and at one point I lost my entire salary!”

The boys stare at the newlyweds leaving the church. “Let’s scare them,” one suggests.
– I myself!
– declares another, approaches the newly made spouse and says:
– Great choice, dad!

In a family of photographers, several children are born, and then they choose the one that turned out better.

Incident in the theater. Performance for children. The moment where the main villain is about to appear
– the lights are off, the orchestra is buzzing warily, there is silence in the hall. And then such a thin child’s voice: “Holy fuck!” how scary!!!

Drawing classes in kindergarten. The teacher asks Vovochka, who is enthusiastically drawing something: “Vovochka, what are you drawing?”
– God. “But no one knows what he looks like.”
– They’ll find out now…

Beginning of September. Children write an essay. Masha holds out her hand and asks: “MaryVanna, how do you spell she got pregnant?”
– Masha don’t write about summer, write about Pushkin.