Kids Anecdotes

The Georgian comes to the doctor: “Doctar, dear, prescribe some medicine so that there are no more children.” Seventeen children already, for fuck’s sake! The doctor prescribes him a pack of condoms. Two days later he comes again with flowers and cognac.
– Thank you, dear, I helped you out, I’ll never forget!
– What, has it already helped?!
– Kaneshna! I swallow two grand on abed, go to the toilet in the evening, my ani are inflated, I’m flying like a hole-in-the-wall under a patalka. The children are laughing and dying of laughter! Two chalaveks left, spybasyba tebe, daragoy!

At the end of the year, my father’s belt with buckle was again recognized as the “Best Teacher”!

In confession:
– My son, have you renounced Satan?
– I can’t, Holy Father, I have three children with her.

Cheburashka comes to Gena:
– Gena, they sent us eight oranges! Six each.
– How is it, eight oranges and six for each?
– Well, I don’t know, I’ve already eaten my six.

– Children, now Vovochka will read to us Mayakovsky’s poem “A Cloud in Pants”!
– What the hell?

Mom about children: “Hugging my son, I feel a man’s shoulder. Hugging my daughter… I feel… perfume is smelling.”

– Kindergarten teachers forgot two Moldovan children in the sandbox.
– By evening they had built a dacha, a bathhouse and a swimming pool.

There is a feeling as if your child’s first three grades at school are a competition between parents: who draws, sculpts, glues better…

In kindergarten, a drunken Santa Claus stumbles into the group, followed by the Snow Maiden, in the same state. The Snow Maiden, looking around, saw a corner, lifted up her coat, sat down, and began to urinate. The children are shocked and ask:
– Grandfather Frost, what about the Snow Maiden?! Santa Claus looked back at the Snow Maiden and said: “It’s melting, damn it!”