Vovochka Anecdotes

The teacher asks Vovochka: “Why does daddy do your homework for you?” And Vovochka answers: “Mom doesn’t have time.”

The teacher asks: “Children, if there is a pig drawn on a can of stew, what is this stew made of?” “Pork,” answers Masha.
– And if there is a fish drawn on the can of “Tourist’s Breakfast”, then what is this canned food made of? “From pollock,” Borya answers. Vovochka extends her hand: “Mar Ivanna, if there’s a black man drawn on the bottle of Uncle Ben’s ketchup, then what is this product made of?”

Teacher:
– Guys, name the antonym of the word “worthy.” Vovochka:
– Sucks.

Teacher:
– Vovochka, what are you doing there in the corner? Vovochka:
– I’m protecting the flowers, Marya Mikhailovna.

At the most interesting moment, Vovochka enters the parents’ room. Dad asks:
– Vovochka, who do you want: a brother or a sister?
– Hippopotamus!
– It won’t work.
– Get off, let me try.

Teacher:
– Vovochka, tell me quickly how much 5 + 8 is.
– 23.
– Shame on you for being so stupid! It will be 13, not 23.
– So you asked me to answer quickly, not accurately.

– Vovochka, what did you do in kindergarten today?
– Pissed.
– How did you pee?
– Boys from faucets, girls from nothing, and Marya Ivanovna from a big red brush.

Dad puts Vovochka to bed. Vovochka:
– Dad! What’s hanging on the wall in your living room? Dad:
– I inherited this from my grandfather! Saber! Vovochka:
– What the fuck?! Dad:
– Sleep damn! Damn it!

Before going to bed, mom says to Vovochka: “Vovochka, let me wash your pussy.” And Vovochka asks: “Let my grandmother wash it for me.” Her hands are shaking.