Vovochka Anecdotes

MaryVanna:
– Summing up the results of 8 years of study, I would like to note the most laconic essay on the topic “What would I like to become in the future.” Tell me, Vovochka, did you come up with this yourself, or did Borka suggest it again?

Vovochka has finally finished school, all that remains is to go to graduation and that’s it. Well, he warns his father: “Pa, if I come back drunk, don’t hit me.” The father listened and said: “Well, it’s graduation after all, I studied at school for 15 years, so you don’t have to beat me on this occasion.” In the morning Vovochka wakes up all wounded and beaten.
– Dad, you promised not to hit me! “So I put up with it when you called me an old bastard, I put up with it when you called my mother a slut, but when you shit a pile in the middle of the carpet and inserted matches into it and said, “It’s a hedgehog and he’ll now live with us, I couldn’t stand it!”

In the morning Vovochka comes up to her mother: “Mom, mom, why did dad crap himself tonight?”
– Where did you get the idea? “And when I walked past your room at night, I heard you say to him: “How long will I crumple this crap in my hands?”

Vovochka with dad at the Moscow Zoo. We approached a cage with a huge Siberian tiger. Dad tells Vovochka what a dangerous and ferocious animal this is. Vovochka listened and listened to him and finally asked his dad worriedly: “Pa, but if a tiger breaks out of the cage and eats you…” “Yes, son,” asks dad, “so what?”
– What bus should I take to get home then?…

Parents took eighth-grader Vovochka with them to Thailand, to the island of Phuket. After returning, they ask him: “Time flies quickly, what do you want to do after graduating from school?”
– I want to collect money for sun loungers and umbrellas on Kata Beach.

Little Vovochka went to the bathhouse with his father for the first time. He looked, looked around, then pointed with his finger and asked: “Dad, what is this thing hanging around you?”
– This, Vovochka, is a very necessary thing.
– Dad, does mom have something like this too?
– No, son, mom doesn’t have such a thing. She uses my thing.
– Sent by Vasil Lukash

The teacher asks: “Children, tell us how you helped the front?” Nastya:
– I sent pouches of tobacco to the front. Masha:
– And I was a nurse. Teacher:
– Well done! Vovochka:
– And I brought the shells. Teacher (admiringly):
– Vovochka! You are a real hero! Did they thank you? Vovochka:
– Oh, yes! They told me: “Zer good, Voldemar.”

Moscow. Elite kindergarten for new Russians. A teacher conducts a leadership test for new Russian children. -Who was your grandmother, Nastya? Nastya-“She is from an ancient noble family.”
– And yours, Ninochka? Ninochka-“My grandmother discovered the voice of Alla Pugacheva”-What family are you from, Vovochka? New Vovochka, as always, is the coolest;
– And I was the sperm of Philip Kirkorov.

Literature lesson. Each student must tell some interesting story. Vovochka comes to the board and says: “Delay.”
– What does it mean?
– asks the teacher.
– There is no interesting story here!
– No, yes, Marivanna! Yesterday our housekeeper whispered to my father “delay,” and he answered her: “Interesting story!”