Vovochka Anecdotes

Little Vovochka sees that mom has a “big belly” and asks dad: “Dad, why has mom’s belly become so big?” Dad:
– Uh… well… and that’s because mom hasn’t pooped for a long time… Vovochka:
– Oh, now it’s clear why I turned out to be such crap…

Teacher:
– Flowers bloom in the spring, and the harvest ripens in the fall… Vova, repeat!! Vovochka:
– First they bloom, and then freaks are born.

The President comes to the school, tells the students about his work, about the development of the country and at the end of the speech he says: “Guys, if you love our Motherland, then you must pay taxes.” You can ask me questions. Vovochka’s hand reaches out from the last places. President:
– Ask a question.
– I wanted to clarify
– if the motherland asks for money for love, then she is a prostitute? Then you’re a pimp, right?

Lessons are going on at school. Vovochka wanders sullenly along the corridor. The director notices him, approaches him and asks: “Vovochka, why aren’t you in class?”
– I don’t see the logic!
– What happened? “I was sitting in class and accidentally farted. I was kicked out of class, and the whole class was left to sniff. I don’t see the logic!

A passerby is walking through the village, he is very thirsty. He goes into the last house.
– Master, can I have something to drink? Vovochka answers: “There is a bucket and a pot in the room.” The man groped for the pot in the darkness, scooped it out of the bucket and drank.
– Ugh, little devil, this is urine! Out of anger he breaks the pot. Vovochka with tears:
– Uncle, uncle, what am I going to poop in?

Vovochka spies on how mom and dad make love. Suddenly he hears:
– Darling, who do you want, a boy or a girl?
– Well, now
– a girl. A few minutes later, dad comes out of the bedroom. Vovochka takes off his pants and exposes his butt: “Dad, I want a saber, markers and a bicycle!”

Vovochka:
– Dad, there is a parent meeting at school today, but only for the narrowest circle.
– For the narrowest circle? How to understand this?
– It will be only the teacher and you.

During the lesson, the teacher asks a question:
– What is “From each according to his ability, to each according to his needs”? Whose principle is this? Vovochka holds out her hand: “This is file exchange in torrents!”

One day Vovochka asks her mother: “Mom, how was I born?”
– Well, son, dad and I took a glass. He spat, I spat, they put it on the window, and the next morning you appeared. The next day at school:
– Tanya, spit in the glass.
– What are you talking about, Vovochka?
– Well, never mind.
– Ugh. Vovochka also spat and put the glass on the window in his room. At night a cockroach fell into a glass. In the morning, Vovochka comes up to her mother with a glass: “Mom, crush your grandson
– he won’t raise his hand against his son.”