Vovochka Anecdotes

Mashenka comes to Vovochka and, stroking his belly, tells him: “Vovochka, soon you will become a dad!”
– Amazing! And who will be the mother?

– Vovochka, can you list all ten commandments? In any order.
– Well, sixth, first, third, …

The teacher asks Vovochka if he knows Tsiolkovsky, Kulibin, Popov?
– Do you know Gray, Zubaty and Kunya? “I don’t know,” answers the dumbfounded teacher.
– Well, there’s no point in scaring me with your gang.

They put four-year-old Vovochka to bed: “Good night, son, you’ve probably already had a dream about a bunny?” To which Vovochka answers in a sleepy voice: “No, it’s still advertising…

The teacher says to the students: “Name your father’s profession, spell it, and name one thing he would give us if he were here.” Masha answers: “My dad is a banker.” BANKER. If he were here, he would give everyone a shiny new coin. Petya answers: “My dad is a baker.” BAKER. If he were here, he would give everyone fresh cookies. Vasya says: “My dad is an accountant.” B-U-G, no, wait, B-U-H-A… The teacher stopped him and said: “Sit down, think again.” Here Vovochka stands up: “My dad is a bookmaker.” BOOKMAKER. If he were here, he would give twenty to one that Vasya will not be able to spell “accountant” correctly.

– Marya Ivanovna, is it possible to punish a person for something he didn’t do?
– You can’t, Vovochka.
– Marya Ivanovna, I didn’t do my homework!

And again in class. Teacher:
– Children, have you ever had to save someone’s life? Vovochka:
– Yes, when I replaced my sister’s birth control pills with regular vitamins!

– Vovochka, get dressed, we will take you to your grandparents.
– Mom, I don’t want to go to them.
– Vovochka, come quickly, otherwise we’ll be late.
– But it’s so boring there!
– Son, don’t be capricious, it’s 8.00, and we’ll pick you up at 17.00.
– Well, what am I going to do until five o’clock in the cemetery?

At school, the teacher asks the children: “Children, what kind of eggs did you see?” Well, the children answer: “Chickens have white ones.”
– Variegated ones
– cuckoo ones.
– What others?
– asks the teacher. “Purple,” Vovochka suggests.
– Where have you seen these?
– Grandfather got pinched by the gate…