Vovochka Anecdotes

The teacher addresses the students: “Children, tell me which astronauts you know?”
– Gagarin, Titov…
– That’s right, and who would you like to add, Vovochka?
– My dad and mom.
– You’re confusing something.
– No, I didn’t make a mistake. I woke up last night and heard dad say to mom: “Well, let’s fly?” And mom answers: “Have you put on a spacesuit?”
– No.
– Then the flight is cancelled.

The first-graders line up in the cafeteria, and Vovochka hangs around the teacher.
– Vovochka, why don’t you line up?
– I’m waiting for you. I am your fuse!
– Who?!
– Fuse!
– Probably a bodyguard?
– Yes!

Watching his mother try on a new fur coat made of natural fur, Vovochka remarked: “Mom, don’t you understand that this fur coat is the result of the terrible suffering of a poor, unfortunate animal?” Mom looked at Vovochka and answered sternly: “How can you talk about your own father like that?!”

Petka is walking down the street and sees Vovochka sitting and chopping wood. And he asks: “Why do you chop wood while sitting?” Vovochka: “I tried lying down, but it didn’t work.”

– Friend, how is your son doing at school?
– Yes, he switches from two to three.
– No… My Vovochka has already stopped… Previously, he carried only colas, but the second one has been carrying only fours for a month now.
– Eh! Mine should at least study for grades…
– No… Vovochka says:
– It’s harder to smuggle colas into grades.

Vovochka comes home, dad asks him: “What happened at school today?”
– Yes, in chemistry class we studied explosives, I didn’t understand anything…
– So tomorrow I’ll go to school.
– Which school?

Vovochka says to her mother: “Mom, give me some ice cream.”
– I won’t, we’ll have lunch soon. Go play in the yard.
– There’s no one there. Give me some ice cream.
– I won’t give it. At home, then, play.
– Okay, then play with me. To mom and dad.
– Well, to hell with you. You are dad, I am mom.
– So I came home from work. Well, why the hell did you sit down? Get off your butt and give the kid some ice cream!

– Vovochka, it’s time for you to go to school! “Mom, my temperature is thirty-six and that’s… and six!”
– This is a completely normal temperature.
– Wow, normal! The total is forty-two!

There is a Russian language lesson in the village school. The topic of the lesson is antonyms. The teacher explains to the children that antonyms are words with opposite meanings, for example, intellectual and redneck. After lessons, Vovochka comes home. His father asks him: “Well, what’s new at school?”
– Yes, they taught us antonyms!
– What is this?
– Well… If you put glasses on a redneck like you, it will turn out to be an antonym!!!