Vovochka Anecdotes

– Vovochka and Tanya! Where are you walking? Why are you late for class?!
– Mary Ivanna! You can’t even imagine, it turns out that reproducing is such a thrill!!!

Vovochka sits in class and clicks with a ballpoint pen. The teacher reprimands him: “Vovochka, what are you doing?” You’re disturbing us.
– Well, Marya Ivanovna, I don’t understand: the handle is feminine, the core is masculine, but why don’t they have children?
– Get up immediately and go get your father! Vovochka comes home and tells his father that he is being called to school.
– What’s the matter?
– the father is interested.
– Yes, I asked Marya Ivanovna: the handle is masculine, the core is feminine, but for some reason there are no children! The father took the pen apart, looked and answered: “Well, your teachers are bad
– there’s a spiral right here!”

There is a math lesson in first grade. Three first-graders are sitting next to each other and talking. Borya: “Yesterday I lost two hundred bucks to the men at the market.” During the big break, you have to pay it back, otherwise they’ll ruin you, but I don’t have any money… Vasya:
– What, I hit my grandmother on a motorcycle yesterday, and now I’m thinking:
– Should I go give up now, or should I wait for the end of lessons? Vovochka:
– Eh, my neighbor got pregnant, now either get married or pay alimony?

At school, the teacher gives the children the task of writing an essay so that it ends with the words “I have only one mother.” Tanechka writes: “My mother is the best, we spent the summer together, we went to Greece, swam in the sea,… I have only one mother!!… Mashenka writes: “My mother and I go to the dacha, go pick mushrooms, swim in the river… I have one mother!” Vovochka writes: “I come home yesterday, hungry, my mother is half-drunk on the sofa in front of the TV… I go to the refrigerator
– and there are two unfortunate bottles of beer, Well, I took it and drank one…., and my mother shouted:
– Vovochka, bring two bottles of beer!!!, and I told her:
– I have only one mom!!!!

Vovochka and her dad come to a sports store. Vovochka surprised her with dumbbells and said: “Dad, buy me dumbbells, I want to be like Schwarzenegger and I will exercise every day.” The father looked at his son in disbelief, knocked out the check, handed it to the seller, and went into the car. Suddenly he hears his son’s angry cry: “And do you really think that I’m going to drag these damn dumbbells into the car??!!

On September 1, first-grader Vovochka is not going to give flowers to the teacher, because she believes that they will not succeed.

Vovochka enters a grocery store and asks the seller: “Do you have pasta?” The seller answers yes, goes for a pack of pasta, but at the last moment Vovochka says to him: “Give me a can of sprat.” The seller, irritated, goes to the other end of the store, takes a can of sprat and gives it to Vovochka. The next day Vovochka comes again and asks: “Do you have mustard?” The seller goes for mustard, but Vovochka again changes his mind at the last moment: “Give me ice cream.” Even more angry, the seller brings him ice cream. This continues for several days, the seller is already on the verge of a nervous breakdown, when Vovochka’s father suddenly enters the store. The seller complains to him: “Your son is just making fun of me: he comes and asks if this or that product is available, and when I follow him, he suddenly changes his mind and asks to sell him something else.”
– Is it true? Well, just let him come home from school
– I’ll take off the belt and give him a kick in the ass!

Vovochka sits on a tree opposite Marya Ivanovna’s house and peeks out the window to see Marya Ivanovna changing clothes there. At some point she saw Vovochka and shouted: “Vova!” May father be at school tomorrow! Vovochka raises her head: “Dad, did you hear?”

The teacher asks Vovochka which fable by S.V. Mikhalkov he liked the most.
– Hymn!
– Vovochka answered.