Vovochka Anecdotes

Teacher: Children, tell me some poems! Masha: The priest had a dog, he loved her! Vovochka: I found this in the zoo porn section!

One day little Vovochka comes to school on September 1 and says to little Lenochka: “And I know what needs to be done to have children.” Lenochka answers: “And I know what needs to be done to prevent them from happening.”

At an interview at a school for especially gifted children, six-year-old Vovochka was asked to tell how a bus differs from a trolleybus. Vovochka did not hide anything from his aunt and honestly told her that the bus runs on an internal combustion engine, and the trolleybus runs on an AC electric motor. It turned out
– nothing like that! Just a trolleybus with horns, and a bus without. And there’s no point in fooling your aunt’s head!

First of September, first grade. Teacher:
– Children, you have come to school! Here you need to sit quietly, and if you want to ask something, raise your hand. Vovochka raises her hand.
– Do you want to ask something, Vovochka?
– No. Just checking how the system works!

During the lesson, the teacher:
– So, children, today we’ll talk about politics. Who symbolizes the largest party in Russia? -???
– Well, who sucks all winter…?! Vovochka holds out her hand: “Oh, I know!” This is the people! Only he sucks both in winter and in summer!

The children went to the museum. Well, the teacher asks them: “Vasenka, what did you like about the statue of Venus?”
– Butt!
– Vasya!!!! Get out of class!!!!!!
– Petenka, what did you like about the statue of Venus?
– Tits!
– Petya!!!!! Get out of class!!!!!!
– Vovochka, what did you like about the statue of Venus?
– I’m leaving-I’m leaving-I’m leaving!!!!!

Lesson in class. The teacher says: “Children, today we will study the new letter “F”!” Name words starting with this letter! Masha gets up and says: “Crane!”
– Well done! Vovochka:
– Ass!
– Wrong, there is no such word!
– There is an ass, but there is no word?!

Russian language lesson. Teacher:
– Children, today we will make sentences that contain the words “probably” and “because.” Children raise their hands. Tanechka:
– I’ll probably go to the cinema today, because dad bought tickets.
– Well done, Tanechka. Sashenka:
– I’ll probably go to the zoo today, because dad works at the zoo
– Well done, Sashenka. Vovochka:
– Grandma took the newspaper and went to the toilet.
– Vovochka, where are the “probably” and “because” here?
– Probably a s#$%, because he can’t read.

The teacher asks: “Children, who knows what vegetable makes your eyes water?” Vovochka holds out her hand.
– Come on, Vovochka, answer.
– From potatoes!
– Well, think about it, how can it be that potatoes make your eyes water? Maybe you meant to say from the onion?
– Mary Ivanna, have you ever been hit in the balls with a potato?