Vovochka Anecdotes

First English lesson. Teacher:
– Which of you, children, knows all the English letters? Vovochka (small programmer):
– I.
– Well, name it, in order.
– Q, W, E, R, T, Y…

Vovochka stands at the open window.
– Why are you crying, Vovochka?
– The ball flew away!
– I’ll buy you ten new balls!
– No, I will never have a dog like Sharik again!

Vovochka comes home from kindergarten and says to her mother: “Mom, mom, I kissed a girl on the lips for the first time!”
– Yes? And what did she tell you? “But I didn’t hear, she covered my ears with her knees.”

In the class, the Russian language teacher says: “Once upon a time, merchants were sailing along the Tiber River, they were attacked by robbers and took away all their goods. When they were asked: “What happened to your goods?” They answered: “And they were killed from us.” This is where the word “shave” comes from. Vovochka extends her hand: “Marivanna, what would the same thing be called in the city of Pisa?”

– Vovochka, I want you to be attentive!!!!! Let’s try:
– If mom brings meat, cabbage, potatoes, beets, what will we have for lunch?
– Borsch !
– Well done! What if a rag and a bucket of water?
– I don’t eat that!

The teacher is talking about the future.
– Here you are, Vovochka, what will you become when you grow up?
– A policeman.
– What if there are no police then? There will be no criminals and no one to catch.
– Then firemen.
– But society will improve itself in such a way that there will be no negligence, not a single fire will be allowed. Why firefighters? “Then I’ll become an officer.”
– While you grow up, reason will triumph throughout our planet. People will live a peaceful, happy life. The military will be of no use.
– Why are you pestering me, Marya Ivanovna? I won’t work anyway!

Vovochka came to school very pale. -Are you sick?
– asked the teacher.
– No, today my mother washed me.

Teacher Vovochka:
– Vovochka, to achieve results, you need to study hard!
– From whom, from whom to study?

Teacher in the class:
– Children today we will study the letter “X” Vovochka holds out her hand:
– May I! I can!
– Sit down, Vovochka, you haven’t brought your father yet for the letter “B.”