Vovochka Anecdotes

Vovochka comes home, and his mother asks: “What did you bring?”
– Four.
– Why not five?
– And we only had four lessons.

Vovochka and her friend received a unit in biology. Vovochka:
– What an old fool! Let’s hide around the corner and, when she passes, we’ll suddenly jump out, I’ll lift up her skirt and you’ll hit her in the balls…

Vovochka is standing on the street, smoking. A woman approaches him: “Boy, do your parents know that you smoke?”
– Does your husband know that you pester strangers?

– Vovochka, what did they give you for your birthday?
– Do you see the turquoise Mercedes under the window?
– Yeah! Cool car!
– Well, they gave me exactly the same color… a cap.

Vovochka asks her grandmother: “Bah, why does the earth rotate?”
– Oh, you asshole drank daddy’s cognac again…

– Maria Ivanovna, how can you find the city of Kostroma on the map?
– Vovochka, imagine a globe in the shape of an ass, and Kostroma will be in the very hole.

A teacher in a zoology lesson asks: “Children, who has the biggest eggs?” Vovochka:
– At the elephant!
– Ugh! What a shame! No! Wrong! At the ostrich! Vovochka:
– Oh, I know! This is from the one who wrote slow waltzes!

– Vovochka, did you bring the gambling debt?
– Brought it, brought it, Marivan. But it’s still not fair. You pulled an ace out of your sleeve…
– How else can you collect money from you for school repairs?

Vovochka came to school very pale. The teacher asks him: “Vovochka, are you sick?” Vovochka answers her: “No, my mother washed me yesterday.”