Vovochka Anecdotes

A biology teacher brings a box of worms and three test tubes to class: “Look, kids!”
– and throws the worm into a test tube with water. The worm is okay, it floats. He takes the other one and puts him in a bottle of alcohol. The worm writhed and died. The third
– into a test tube with a nicotine solution. Well, the pipe has come for this worm.
– Children, what conclusion can we draw? Vovochka:
– Marivanna, you need to drink and smoke more so that worms don’t get in your stomach!

Vovochka comes home from school and says to his father:
– Dad, I got a bad mark in singing
– What happened?
– We sang the song “What kind of end did the guy have?”
– ​​So what?
– Everyone sang, and I showed…

Father
– Vovochka:
– Well, son, what will you please dad with today?
– Dad, the boys and I drank everything that can please you yesterday!

Vovochka comes to his father and says: “Dad, am I Russian or Jewish?”
– Why do you need to know?
– asks dad.
– Yes, you see, at school they offered a bike for 100 bucks, so I think: either bargain for 50 or just steal it

Vovochka comes home and says: “Mom, I need a photo of dad!” Mom looks at him and says: “Why do you need it?”
– The teacher just asked me to show what kind of IDIOT did this homework!

Vovochka to mom: “Mom, is Snickers the same as Tampax, only with cream?”

– Grandpa, relax.
– No, Vovochka, no!
– Come on, grandfather, in an amicable way! Or should I use force?
– Have mercy, Vovochka! I’m your grandfather!
– Is it my fault that the natural history teacher demands that I bring a cut of an old stump to school?

Dialogue in class:
– Vovochka, why do you have so many gaps in your dictation?
– This, Marivanna, is a place for advertising.

Feast… Head of the family
– Vovochka:
– Son, give Aunt Masha a fork…
– Why is this?
– Son, haven’t you heard about the rules of good manners?
– Damn, you yourself said yesterday that she eats like a horse…