Vovochka Anecdotes

Father tells Vovochka: “When I was little, I never lied.”
– When did you start lying, dad?

During the lesson, the children were asked to compose a poem on any topic. Vovochka raises his hand first. The teacher says: “Yes, speak Vovochka.”
– Winter .
– Well done Vovochka, good.
– The river is frozen.
– Well done Vovochka.
– There are 2 wolves fucking on the ice.
– Vovochka, this is inconvenient. The teacher speaks.
– Of course, it’s inconvenient to move your paws apart.
– Vovochka two!!!!
– Where is the third one?

First of September. The teacher asks the children to each tell what they did in the summer. Vovochka:
– Mary Ivanna! How do you feel about alcohol? M.I.:
– Negative! Vovochka:
– Then I didn’t do anything…

Second-grader Mashenka spent the night at Vovochka’s, returns home in the morning, and is greeted by her angry mother: “Where have you been all night?” What’s this called?! Mashenka (dreamy):
– I don’t know what it’s called, but it’s a hobby for life!

In class:
– So, let’s solve the problem. In one day at the youth camp, Hans, Georges, Jacques, Pedro and Vasya drank a half-liter bottle of vodka. The question is, how many days would this bottle last for Vasya alone? Vovochka:
– Mary Ivanna, don’t ask stupid questions!

Vovochka broke the glass in his neighbor’s window. His mother scares him:
– While father brings new glass, you will have to cover the hole in the window with your bare ass… Vovochka, through tears:
– Mom, will you replace me for lunch?

Mom and Dad come to visit Vovochka at boarding school. They look and there is a sign nailed to the ground floor: “Good children.”
– Is our Vovochka here?
– No, higher. They go up to the second floor. They see a sign saying “Bad Children.”
– Is our Vovochka here?
– No, even higher. They rise higher. There is a sign on the door:
– Vovochka.

Vovochka:
– Mom, today the school principal asked if I have brothers or sisters. and I said that I am the only child in the family.
– and what did she answer:
– She said “Thank God!”

Four-year-old Vovochka was asked where the bottle with tooth elixir went from the bathroom. He answered: “Dad tried it and spat it out, then mom tried it and spat it out.” I thought that if no one liked it, why would it hang around in the bathroom, so I threw it away!