Vovochka Anecdotes

The class was assigned to write an essay about some unusual event that happened last week. Vovochka began reading his essay: “Last week, dad fell into a well.”
– God!
– the teacher exclaimed.
– Is he okay? “Probably,” answered Vovochka. “Yesterday he stopped calling for help.

– Mary Ivanovna, teach me something else! “I’m tired, Vovochka, let’s better get out of bed and get back to math.”

Dad asks Vovochka: “How did mom guess that you didn’t wash your face?”
– I forgot to wet the soap.

– Vovochka, does Masha come to visit you?
– Yes, sure.
– What are you doing?
– We watch TV.
– But you don’t have a TV? “She hasn’t noticed it yet.”

The teacher handed out notebooks after checking the dictation. Vovochka approaches the teacher with her notebook and asks: “Maria Ivanovna, I didn’t understand what you wrote down here!” I wrote: “Sidorov, write legibly!”

Mom gives Vovochka a teaspoon and says: “Here’s a silver spoon for you.” They say silver kills germs!
– Mommy, should I drink tea with dead germs?

Vovochka asks dad: “Dad, does it happen that condoms break?”
– Look in the mirror!

– Vovochka! Why did people invent the Internet?
– They’re tired of peeking through the keyhole!

The postman brings a registered letter and rings the doorbell. Vovochka opens the door, in one hand he has a bottle of cognac, in the other a hefty Havana cigar. The postman squeezes out in amazement: “Uh… are your parents at home?” Vovochka casually shakes the ash from his cigar onto the carpet, winks and answers: “What do you think?”