Vovochka Anecdotes

Vovochka comes running home all teary-eyed: “Mom!” At school, everyone teases me with “THE SCARY STORY”!
– This is nothing, when you were born the doctor said:
– If THIS moves, shoot!

In the subway, father to son:
– Vovochka, give way to that auntie.
– Okay, dad. And Vovochka obediently climbed off her father’s lap.

Vovochka’s teacher asks: “What does your dad do?”
– Transformer.
– How’s that?
– He gets 220, brings home 127, and buzzes for the rest.

– Why can’t children watch this series?
– Little Vovochka asks his father.
– Sit quietly! Now you will see for yourself.

– Vovochka, where did you learn to swear like that?
– This cannot be learned, it is a gift of nature.

Vovochka is walking along the corridor with a globe, his teacher meets him and asks: “Vovochka, where are you going?”
– To the toilet!
– Why do you need a globe?
– Well, you know, I’m in such a mood that I don’t want to give a shit about the whole world!

Mom
– Vovochka:
– We want to buy a dacha, so dad decided to quit drinking, I decided to quit smoking, and what will you do?
– I can quit school!

The school is preparing for the holiday. The children and the teacher are decorating their office, Vovochka comes in, looks around the classroom for a long time and thoughtfully, and suddenly says thoughtfully: “Let’s put a red ribbon in the right corner… The teacher naturally becomes horrified by such words and calls Vovochka’s dad to school.” He comes to school, the teacher tells him everything as it happened, he walks around for a long time, looks at the class and in the end, finally declares: “And it was worth calling me to school because of this
– if you don’t like the red ribbon, then throw away the blue bow!”

Vovochka received a D in mathematics. Dad asks why.
– Couldn’t find the least common multiple.
– How? They haven’t found him in thirty years?