Vovochka Anecdotes

Teacher, addressing the class: “Children, I looked through your essays on the topic “My Family.” Vovochka, why did you write: “My father is a fool, my mother is also a fool.” And I am the smartest in the family!
– So the parents themselves talk about it. Father is a fool for getting married. Mother is a fool for getting married! And I’m not going to get married yet…

During a math lesson, the teacher explains the conditions of the problem:
– The staircase of a house under construction has five flights, each of which consists of 20 steps. How many steps do you have to go up to get to the top floor?
– All!
– Vovochka answers.

Vovochka gave the cat gasoline to drink. The cat walked two steps and fell. “Well, yes,” Vovochka thought, “she’s probably run out of gas
– she needs to fill it up again.”

The family is having dinner. The father says to six-year-old Vovochka: “When I eat, I am deaf and dumb.” Vovochka, looking at him carefully: “And I’m normal.”

The teacher runs into Vovochka: “This is your sister’s handwriting!!!”
– Quite likely, because I wrote it with a pen!

Teacher:
– Vovochka, why are you late again? Vovochka:
– Well, Marya Ivanovna, well, you yourself said that it’s never too late to learn.

Vovochka ran up to the huge dog and began stroking his bushy tail. The mother screams in fright: “What are you doing?” He’ll bite you!
– No, mom, they don’t bite from this end.

Vovochka and his class watched a film about the war.
– Vovochka, what did you like most?
– I liked the drug addict!
– ???
– Well, here’s the one who smoked his pipe all the time and said: “You have a good plan, Comrade Zhukov!”

Vovochka stopped the car on the way to school: “Uncle, give me a ride to school!”
– Yes, for me, the boy is in a completely different direction.
– So much the better!!!