Vovochka Anecdotes

Mary Ivanovna:
– Vovochka, why are you poorly prepared for mathematics? Vovochka:
– Yes, three.point.fourteen.hundredths.of this math.

– Vovochka, what is a fable?
– This is when animals talk to each other. For example, a pig talks to a monkey, that’s how we are now!

In a chemistry lesson:
– Vovochka, what kind of compound is this?
– Sodium hydrocherite!

Vovochka comes home.
– How are things at school?
– parents ask.
– Imagine, Marvanna read us a poem about Pugachikha and Kirkorov today!
– What are you talking about, Vovochka!
– the parents are surprised.
– Well, read it to us. Vovochka begins: “The mistress abandoned the bunny…”

Teacher:
– Vovochka, get out of class!
– For what?
– Out the door!
– Why?!
– On the floor!!!

In class:
– So, children, today we’ll talk about politics. Who symbolizes the largest party in Russia?
– ???
– Well, he sucks all winter…?! Vovochka:
– Ah! People! So he sucks in winter and summer!

– Vovochka, why did you get a bad grade in physical education?
– The teacher said:
– Do you see a goat standing? Cover it with obscenities.
– So what?
– I answered:
– Nikolai Petrovich, I see you well. Your mother is so and so.

The teacher gave the students the task of coming up with a quatrain. Vovochka:
– Can I, Mary Ivanna?
– Please, Vovochka. Vovochka recites this quatrain: “Masha went to the disco.” And she fell off the bridge straight into the river. Because she was looking at a star. And she wet her knees. Teacher:
– Vovochka, there’s no rhyme at the end.
– It was so small.

Vovochka in class:
– Marya Ivanovna, what is the correct way to write
– “economy” or “economy”?
– Considering her condition and my salary, Vovochka, as you wish…