Vovochka Anecdotes

Vovochka, an inquisitive boy, lies with his mother on the beach, turning his head, Mom, why is it that some of the uncles have bigger swimming trunks, some have smaller ones. Mom, turning from her stomach to her back: “Leave me alone, it’s like in life, who is richer, who is poorer.” Vovochka:
– Mom, mom, look, your uncle is looking at you and getting rich.

Mom goes to visit and punishes Vovochka with her sister: “Children, dad will come home from work drunk, you undress him to the waist and put him to bed.” Children:
– Mom, why up to the waist? Mom:
– Below the snake, he will bite you. An hour later the call. Mom:
– Well, kids, dad came? Children:
– Dad came, we undressed him completely and put him to bed. Mom (with anxiety):
– What about the snakes? Children (proudly):
– Don’t worry, mom. The snake was strangled, the eggs were trampled, the nest was burned!!!

In the Sidorov family, mom was unfaithful to dad, and dad was unfaithful to mom. This position brought Vovochka an income unimaginable for a fifth-grader due to the boy’s constant improvement of blackmail technology.

The teacher explains the difference between singular and plural. She asks:
– A woman is looking out of the window… Mashenka:
– Singular.
– What if three women are looking out of the window? Vovochka:
– This is a brothel.

Vovochka turns to the teacher: “Marivanna!” Do you know what I will become when I grow up? A doctor!
– Commendable! “So, Marivanna, what’s the point of correcting my handwriting if when I become a doctor, it will still be ruined?”

There’s a lesson in progress. Teacher:
– Vovochka, tell us who is the chairman of the United Nations?
– Tea Masturban! -Whoooo?!
– Ugh, damn it! I won’t remember! Coffee Anan, Mary Ivanna!

Alumni meeting. Vovochka meets her classmate:
– Mary Ivanovna, remember when I talked all sorts of bullshit in class?
– Of course I remember, Vladimir Volfovich…

Vovochka:
– How to spell correctly, Maryivanna:
– Ananism or ononism? Teacher:
– Vova, how do you know such words?
– What is there to know? Our whole class is doing this.
– And you too?!
– I don’t-e-e. I have a woman in 1-B.

The teacher writes on the board with colored chalk. Vovochka’s voice from the class:
– Blues can’t see! Teacher:
– Let them change seats!