Vovochka Anecdotes

Vovochka’s dad is going to Leningrad.
– Children, whoever writes a poem with the word “Leningrad”, I will bring him what he asks for in the poem. “Dad is going to Leningrad, dad will buy marmalade,” says Vovochka’s younger brother.
– Well done, I’ll buy you some marmalade. Vovochka:
– Dad is going to Leningrad, dad will buy me a moped.
– Doesn’t rhyme!
– Dad shouts.
– Try again.
– Dad is going to Leningrad, Mom’s boyfriend will be happy. Mom’s boyfriend is our neighbor, Dad will buy me a moped.

Vovochka comes to school. His friends ask: “Did you watch our team play yesterday?”
– No. My parents told me that it was too early for me to watch porn.

And Vovochka suffered the most from the crisis. “He managed to get a bad grade on the day his nervous father was laid off.

Teacher:
– Children, tell me who your dad is? Masha:
– My dad is a manager. Vovochka:
– And my dad is a hacker!
– ? “He got coded three times from drunkenness and broke the code three times.

During a lesson at school, the priest says to the children: “And now I’ll tell you about how the first person turned out.” Vovochka: “I would like to hear about how the third person turned out.”

Vovochka brought a squirrel with him to school. She got out of his briefcase and began running around the classroom in horror. Finally she climbed up the teacher’s skirt. She screamed in horror: “Take your squirrel immediately!” Vovochka answers completely calmly: “Don’t worry!” She will only check if there are any nuts there. And when she doesn’t find it, she will come out herself!

In Vovochka’s kindergarten, classes on studying the Gospel were introduced. Teacher of the Law of God:
– What is this little creature in a fur coat and with a long fluffy tail that jumps from branch to branch and collects acorns? Does it have lively little eyes and really like nuts? Little Vovochka raised his hand and answered: “Actually, it should be a squirrel, but since you’re asking this, it means it’s Jesus Christ.”

Vovochka came from school: “Mom, we got vaccinated today!”
– Against what?
– Against our will…

Mom shouts from the balcony: “Vovochka, don’t hit the boy on the head with a shovel, otherwise you’ll sweat and get sick.”