Vovochka Anecdotes

MaryIvanna at a drawing lesson:
– Today Mashenka will draw a rose, Petenka will draw a bunny, Olenka will draw a pussy, and Vovochka will again draw domes, crosses and six diamonds.
– MaryVanna, why do I always draw the same thing?
– Understand, baby, this will be more useful to you in your future life. So, children, take brushes, and you, Vovochka, take a needle with ink, and let’s draw.

In a zoology lesson at school:
– Children, what is the name of a female tiger?
– Tigress.
– Right. Vovochka, what is the name of a female leopard?
– Borsetka, Maria Ivanovna.

– Children, come up with a sentence with a word ending in “-tsya”: Vovochka:
– The cow climbed the tree.
– Where…
– Oh, it will come true!

The children were taken on an excursion to the police station. There are photographs on the billboard: “The police are looking for them.” Vovochka: “Are these the ones you’re looking for?” Cop:
– Yes! Them the most!!! Vovochka:
– Those are the cops, damn it! Why didn’t you tie them up when you took the picture????

An American journalist decided to check the level of intellectual development of Soviet children. She came to kindergarten, called Vovochka, raised an orange above her head and said: “Boy, can you get the orange without jumping?”
– Auntie, can you suck it without bending over?

During classes in kindergarten, the teacher gave the task to make four vegetables. Vovochka was the last one to turn in his work. He brings a large plate of plasticine, and on it there are many small pieces of plasticine. The teacher asks: “What is this, Vovochka?” Where are your vegetables?
– I’ve already cut them into a salad!

– Vovochka, make up a sentence with the words “cat” and “look.” “When I accidentally stepped on the cat’s paw, he shouted: “You have to watch where you step!”

The kids at school had a bet about what was the fastest thing in the world. Tanechka says: “I said the quickest word, but I can’t take it back!” Vanechka says: “The fastest is light!” I just turned it on and it’s already on! Vovochka answered: “I had diarrhea here, so I didn’t have time to say a word or turn on the light…

The teacher explains division to the children. She wrote 2:2 on the board and asked: “Children, who knows what this means?” Vovochka:
– Draw!