Vovochka Anecdotes

Vovochka’s parents sent her to stay with her aunt, who settled in the Congo. The aunt says to Vovochka: “Vovochka, take a bucket and go to the pond for water.” Vovochka goes to the pond, but when he sees a crocodile looking out from there, he throws the bucket and runs headlong back. Auntie:
– Vovochka, where is the water? Where did you put the bucket?
– There’s a crocodile sitting in the pond. He looked at me like that.
– Vovochka, this crocodile has been sitting there for 10 years and has never harmed anyone. So feel free to get water and don’t be afraid of the crocodile, he was probably even more afraid of you than you were of him. “That’s the point
– if he was even more afraid of me than I was of him, it means that the water in this pond has become undrinkable.”

Vovochka asks her meteorologist father: “Dad, do your forecasts always come true?”
– Always! But the dates don’t always match!

Vovochka says to his officer father: “Dad, is it true that nothing is impossible for the military?”
– Exactly, son!
– Cool! Then go to the bathroom and put your shaving cream back in the tube.

Vovochka comes home and tells dad that he is being called to school. Dad, of course, wonders why. “Yes, you understand,” says Vovochka, “we spilled glue in the corridor, and Mary Ivanna fell and got stuck…” “So why didn’t you tear it off?”
– We tore it off. I
– twice.

Teacher:
– Vovochka! I’ll put you in a corner! Vovochka:
– And I’ll stink there too!

There is a dead cat lying on the side of the road. Three-year-old Vovochka asks his mother what happened to her? “She died and went to heaven to be with God.”
– Did God throw it back?

One day a father goes on a business trip and says to the children: “Kids, if you want me to bring you gifts, then ask me for them so that it’s easy.” After a while, the father calls the children and asks Olya first: “Well, what do you want?” Olya says: “Dad is going to Leningrad, dad will buy me chocolate!”
– Well done Olechka, I’ll buy you chocolate, and you Lenochka, what do you want? Lena says: “Dad is going to Leningrad, dad will buy me marmalade!”
– Well done Lenochka, I’ll buy you some marmalade. Well, Vovochka, what do you want? Vovochka:
– Dad is going to Leningrad, dad will buy me a moped!
– Well, Vovochka, it’s not easy, think better?! Vovochka thought and answered: “Dad is going to Leningrad, mom’s guy will be happy, mom’s guy is our neighbor, dad will buy me a moped!”

The teacher asks:
– Children, what brands of cars do you know?
– Volga, Zhiguli, Moskvich, KamAZ, Mercedes. Vovochka stands up and says: “Wheat.” The teacher was surprised: “There is no such machine.”
– No, it happens. Yesterday a neighbor came to us, brought a bottle, poured it into glasses, and dad said: “Well, Petrovich, let’s go.”

– Vovochka, draw a tomato.
– Don’t want.
– Why?
– You’ll be scared!