Vovochka Anecdotes

– Vovochka, why didn’t you do your homework?
– asks the teacher.
– Yes, at our house mother and father constantly quarrel.
– Your mother saw it, but who is your father?
– This is what they find out all the time…

Vovochka returns from school. His father asks him: “Well, what did you do in drawing class today?”
– We drew mom.
– How, again?! You drew pictures of mothers in the last and the lesson before last?
– Well, I don’t know
– the teacher comes in and says:
– Draw quickly, motherfucker!

A student in an anatomy lesson asks the teacher:
– Tell me, please, what is the difference between a man and a woman? Teacher:
– Tell me, Vovochka, what size are your dad’s feet?
– 44.
– What about your mother?
– 38.
– So, remember Vovochka, there is a difference between their legs…

Vovochka knocks on her neighbor’s door with a huge box of toys. She opens it and asks: “What are you doing, Vovochka?”
– Yes, I want to give you some toys for safekeeping, otherwise they brought my brother from the maternity hospital… who knows what kind of person he is…

Little Vovochka asks his mother: “Mom, did our dad poop himself at night?” And then at night, when I went to write, I heard you say: “Well, how long will I continue to crumple this crap in my hands?”

The teacher asks the children what they want to be. Well, who says:
– A doctor, an astronaut, an artist, a lawyer… And Vovochka says:
– Santa Claus. Teacher:
– BUT why? Vovochka:
– And because: Cool profession: you’ve been busy for a week and you’re free for a whole year!

– I’m a Bitsevsky maniac!
– Vovochka loved to shout loudly, and laughed as he watched the passers-by scatter. And he finished off those who didn’t believe it with a crowbar!

Russian language lesson in Ukrainian school. Teacher:
– Vovochka, the word “shablya” is translated into Russian as “saber”, and not as “quietly, girl”…

– Well, what did you get today?
– Dad asks Vovochka. “Four,” the son blurted out.
– Why not five?
– And we only had four lessons.